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I asked him what happened to the chip cutter“She got the sack as well!”Ran out of toilet paper and am now using lettuce.Today was the tip of the iceberg.I met a woman in a club last night who said she would show me a good time.We went outside and she ran a 40 meter dash in 4 seconds.So I’m rubbing away at this old lamp when WHOOOSH a genie appears as they do; true to form he says “What is your wish?”So after about 2 seconds thought I say “I’d like a new Ferrari please”“Sorry,” says the genie. “no can do - I’m the Lambourne genie”Captain Nemo’s submarine ‘Nautilus’ has finally been disarmed.It is now called the ‘Naughtyless’A Vicar was asked to dinner by one of his parishioners, who he knew was an unkempt housekeeper. When he sat down at the table, he noticed that the dishes were the dirtiest that he had ever seen in his life.“Were these dishes ever washed?” he asked his hostess, running his fingers over the grit and grime.She replied, “They’re as clean as soap and water could get. Then she managed to force out a few strangled words:‘I don’t know why, I don’t understand it, I’ve never before … I shouldn’t, I know I mustn’t, but I keep thinking about it … about what we did …’ Then she continued with more resolution: ‘I can’t stop looking at you, thinking about it – and, yes, I do want you, I do want more, dear God help me, I do!’Donna took Cathy’s hand for a moment and squeezed it reassuringly, smiling comfortingly as if she was the one who was twenty years older and not the other way about. She glanced quickly around – the students whom she was supervising were performing their duties conscientiously and efficiently, and did not really need her constant presence, and she saw that the Vice-Principal (to whom she had made her offer to help tonight, and so who might notice if she was absent) was just leaving the room by a side door with the Principal, their heads huddled together as if they had something important to discuss. Donna smiled in pleased relief,.
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